The needs of adoptees are often overlooked. As a small percentage of the population (less than 4%) it is hard to recognize some of the psychological things that happen during the formative years of a child.
Many attachment issues for adoptees come back and haunt them later in life. Some are obvious from the onset.
what is attachment?
Attachment is the bonding process that happens during the formative days after birth. In a typical child they bond with parents and family members. This helps form trust and builds a foundation for growth.
But…an adopted child is typically taken away from the mother within a few days or even hours and then given to a foster parent. They are then adopted out to parents that may or may not have the right set of skills to love and nurture the child.
That’s pretty traumatic.
What can happen is a lack of trust, sometimes in relationships with women, sometimes with everyone. The challenge – to build and gain confidence and esteem in relationships. A hard task at the best of times. Without a proper footing it is even harder.
So, to understand how adoption may have effected you or your partner / friend it is important to learn about attachment and what you can do to grow a strong bond and connection with the person in question.
We often overlook the needs and requirements that individuals have. Attachment is just one of the many reasons that all adopted people should seek out real family members with an adoption reunion and search. It answers questions and fills the gaps.