change

4 warning signs that you are a finger pointer (and what you can do about it)

simply stephen / October 18, 2011

Part 2 of 2 in a series on responsibility

part 1 – everyone loses in the blame game

part 2 – 4 warning signs that you are a finger pointer (and what you can do about it)

Pointing blame is never a good thing. Everyone loses in the blame game. Instead, try to take some responsibility for your actions and find a solution.

4 warning signs to discover if you are a finger pointer

Do you always dwell on things? Dwelling is really the art of finding fault. Is your past getting in the way of your future? Stop analyzing every aspect of life. You need to be in the present to change your future.

Do you always have to be right? Right is a good way to create two sides. In that scenario only one person can win. Society often teaches us that if you are right you will succeed. Look at how school works. The right answer gets the highest grade. So if someone is wrong or has to apologize they are weak. That leaves very little room to correct any mistakes. Many call that denial.

Do you always think life is unfair? Guess what – it probably is but just because the odds seem like they are against you, doesn’t mean you can’t turn it around. If you think were dealt a bad hand in life and are constantly feeling sorry for yourself then take a look at those that really were – the impoverished, orphans, people with debilitating health issues.

If you are reading this, you are probably one of the lucky ones in the world. Stop complaining and start doing because it’s up to you to have a positive outlook.

Do you think change is impossible? If you think everything is out of your control, think again. You have choices. Change is not about drastic measures, it’s about small steps towards something new. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

finding some simple solutions

It’s easier than you think to stop laying blame.

It just takes a bit of deliberation and practice but the longer you wait the harder it gets. Here’s a general path to changing a habit:

Decide to change -> Take an inventory -> Start by Stopping -> Eliminate Aversions -> Meditate on it Daily

What changes are involved? Well this really is all about you. It’s hard to change the world effectively. It’s much easier to demonstrate by making the changes come from within. Here are some ways to reduce the blame and start to reclaim the life you want – one filled with solutions and happiness.

  1. think before you speak
  2. reflect on a solution (come up with a plan)
  3. apologize when you are wrong
  4. admit when you’ve made a mistake
  5. don’t be too hard on yourself start with a little bit of self acceptance
  6. start listening and be open to ideas (without interruption)
  7. be positive about life
  8. ask for help when you need it – there is no shame
  9. identify your flaws and realize shortcomings are countered by strengths

When faced with hard decisions and tough choices take the steps toward change and leave the blame behind.

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