We often worry about what people think. Self-acceptance is being comfortable with who you are in the present moment.
Acceptance is actually a concept that takes effort and reaps large rewards. It’s a practice by many eastern philosophies and psychologists to discover a way or agree to experiencing any situation and follow the process without attempting to change or adjust it.
On the opposite side it involves allowing people to accept your world for the way it is. Once achieved, you feel comfortable and peaceful in the world you live in.
My world is fine – everyone else is screwed up.
Okay, not exactly.
The point I’m leading to here is for every person the world is different. We’ve had different experiences, environments and belief systems. If you spend time worrying about how you are different and trying to be accepted, loved and respected by everyone, you will brutally fail.
acceptance of yourself
Here’s how it actually works.
To be accepted, you first have to accept yourself. Most people just pretend to accept and love themselves. If that was true, they would constantly be changing. Habits would disappear. Goals would be met.
They would be happy.
Our motivations sabotage.
We worry that we are egotistical, selfish, maniacal and narcissistic. We think if we accept ourselves we won’t change. Quite the contrary. By accepting yourself it allows you to focus on the present and do activities that will help you get there.
For example, I currently rent a room in a house overlooking a lake. I share the house. I would like to live by myself and own a sustainable tiny home in a more remote location, possibly with a partner. I accept that I am here now and can still dream about the house and be content where I am. I can focus on the things I do to get where I want to be.
Acceptance is the catalyst.
It allows us to change and move on. It gives us the motivation.
acceptance and society
Society provides us with a lot of obstacles. Peer pressure, self worth and various false realities. Most people want to fit in with the crowd and will do almost anything to keep up the appearance. If you step outside a bit, people notice.
Or you think they notice.
Most of them are too busy worrying about if they are being noticed. Ones that notice are probably on a better path.
Unfortunately, there are always a few bad seeds.
People with social disorders, such as anxiety or depression, are often hit the hardest by peer pressure and acceptance. The stigma of mental health is an uphill battle for some. Social support and acceptance plays a big role in recovery but unfortunately most people suffering from these issues are often avoided or attacked instead of being loved and supported.
That has a detrimental effect. It amplifies the pain and lengthens or eliminates healing.
So, it’s important to review how our actions effect the people around us. I was always taught not to judge a book by it’s cover. By judging, avoiding or discriminating direct harm is being inflicted. Perhaps we are oblivious to our ways but that doesn’t mean we should change our actions and views.
Acceptance of yourself is your first step to healing, the catalyst as mentioned above. Like with anything there is a process for acceptance that can help lead you to the new possibilities in life and I’ll talk about it next time.