This post started out as an angry rant.
I took the time to simmer down and think about the very simple message I am trying to relay. It’s a message similar to bullying and mental health stigma. It strongly needs to be shared around the web and passed on. At the very least it deserves a debate or discussion.
Why do so many self help, success gurus, managers, leaders, etc. encourage people to dump friends that aren’t positive or contributing to your life?
To only hang around positive people and experiences. That sounds good, right?
start looking for truth in that message
It is actually sending another message.
One that causes harm.
And it definitely contributes to depression, stress and anxiety.
If 1 million people take this advice and essentially abandon (let’s say 5) a friendship that’s 1 million lives that may improve and 5 million lives that may become worse. That’s a negative gain of 4 million. The reality is tens or hundreds of millions are taking the advice at some level.
The truth is it promotes hate not positivity.
In essence, it tells you to abandon the people around you. Ones that have invested time in you. Ones that have cared and helped you at some point in their lives. That’s the true message.
It’s not about surrounding yourself with positive people when you say you should abandon your negative influences. It’s a narcissistic attitude. One of greed and self gratification. It portrays success is great at any cost.
The cost of someone’s life?
The cost of their happiness?
The cost of friendship?
there is another way
I think most of you are kind and caring. I think people lose their way. Some people never get the right environment to promote growth and happiness.
That’s where you come in.
If someone is hurting…
If someone has been through a trauma (and you may not know about it because they are proud, stoic or ashamed)…
If someone has been abused…
If someone is going through a divorce or breakup…
If someone is going through a sickness (and mental health is one of many)…
If someone is a little negative…
If someone is shy…
If someone is not as much of an achiever as you…
If someone is not quite as social as you…
If someone is “insert problem here”…
…and so on.
Do they deserve any less friendship, empathy, love and opportunity?
They need you the most. More than ever.
Your integrity has a chance to shine. They will never forget it.
Instead of running away from their negative vibes try to teach them how to be positive.
Show them what it means to love and care.
Let them feel they can trust someone again.
Never give up on them.
The problem with this advice is that it really isolates the people not strong enough to hold themselves up. The ones without the support groups in place.
Sure there are negative people and bad influence…but learn to discern.
It does not have to be such a dog eat dog world out there. And you don’t have to contribute to it.
It’s self serving.
…try reaching out and quit following such bad advice.
Sure, it’s great to surround yourself with people that are positive. It’s wonderful to succeed. But at what cost?
Before you make a choice to serve your needs, think about the possible harm in your actions. That way, you know in your heart of hearts if the decision is a good one.
It’s not often I push to have my audience share a message but today I am asking.
If you or someone you love has been abandoned by people reaching for the stars…spread the word of this message to think twice and be nice.
Please use the hashtag #change to retweet. Ask your audience to retweet or share on any and all social media.