Reality is really the same for introverts and extroverts. As Susan Cain points out two people might equally like bruschetta but the introvert might say it is good, while the extrovert might say it’s the best thing ever. The difference is the introverts might fear the extroverts thinks they are “too serious”, while the extroverts worry that introverts think they are “too much” or “too silly”.
Neither is wrong. Perception is everything.
Both are just different. Yin and Yang. Mars and Venus.
Here’s some subtle (or actually quite obvious) differences:
- Introverts like to get to the point and don’t like small talk. That’s fun for extroverts and they can get put off by direct approach.
- Introverts like to use indirect methods of communication to get things done, extroverts love to chat about it.
- Introverts need time to respond to in depth questions while extroverts want quick general answers.
- The word alone means lonely to a extrovert but and introvert views it as bliss – peace and quiet, a time to recharge.
- Bored might mean not busy to an extrovert but for an introvert it could mean they can’t escape a social gathering.
- A friend is someone who will keep you company to an extrovert but to an introvert it’s someone that knows when you need to be left alone.
- Free time for an extrovert is a time to socialize with a group of friends and family but for an introvert is time to relax, read a book, recharge or have a quiet interaction with a close friend.
- Home is a haven for the introvert but the extrovert may see it as a place to entertain.
- The phone is a lifeline to connect and communicate for the extrovert but may be a distraction, interruption or necessary tool for the introvert.
- Going out is something that can be done alone for the introvert, maybe a quiet walk but usually involves getting together with people for the extrovert.
- Introverts love to read information to digest it and formulate and answer while the extrovert likes to talk it out.
- An introvert wants to do something new on their own time without an audience, an extrovert thinks everyone should see them in action.
- Introverts like to work independently, even if they are part of a team but an extrovert likes to work with the team.
- An introvert usually learns by watching and mentally rehearsing while and extrovert may jump right in.
- An extrovert may get excited about trends or new gadgets and be more likely to give in to peer pressure while an introvert could be the one creating or avoiding it.
- An introvert climbs the mountain alone while the extrovert goes with a expedition team – who is more bold?
I’m sorry if in any way, I have slanted them towards the introvert. I can’t help it and was trying to be as impartial as I could.
Neither way is right or wrong. Both perceptions are the reality of both personality types.
To understand the introvert or extrovert better, we need to look at those realities and respect them.
The other side of the coin is different. You are heads, I am tails. It’s not two sided.
Next time we are interacting with someone, be sure to make a mental not of how they react. Mark note if they are an introvert or extrovert and then you will understand why they may see the world through different lenses.