when people don’t like your introverted talking style
|June 14, 2012||Posted by simply stephen under introvert|
I often find people get irritated with my style of speech.
As an extreme introvert (and now that I live off grid in the woods), I don’t talk to people that often. When I do, sometimes I actually rant, rave and go off on tangents to get to my point.
I think it’s because I am getting it all out of my system and many extroverts don’t like waiting for me to finish my point, so they interrupt me. In turn, I often interrupt back and they scream “let me finish”, which is exactly how I feel but I think they are being rude.
I prefer to express myself through writing. It gives me a chance to pause and reflect.
There have been many times I watch people frustrated with talking with me.
I know they are thinking I’m strange. Boring. Off topic. Too deep…and so on.
The problem is, without these deep and long conversations, they will never be able to connect with me on a level needed to earn friendship and trust. That takes time, patience and energy.
I also have a very obscure learning style but I’ll save that for another time.
On the flip side, I’m very well versed in the human condition and as an INFJ character can feel exactly what people are thinking even though they don’t say it. I’m good at reading between the lines and actually sense the tension or pleasure. This can be overwhelming for me since I always know how one feels about me.
Put simply, I frustrate people.
I’m so different, it confuses them and they insist I need fixing. In actual fact, I don’t.
They just want the world to be more like them and frankly, I’m tired of intolerant extroverts.
So, the result is a cautious approach to social interaction.
Each time someone is upset with me, I take an inventory and try to assess what style people will adapt best to. I also become more cautious and less social. In part, this is not a bad thing as long as you take each interaction as a learning experience.
How do you deal with people when they clearly don’t respect how you are?