Part 3 of 4 in a series on the poisons in life
Anger could arguably be the most harmful poison. Not only to other’s but yourself as well.
Anger is a normal and sometimes healthy emotion but how you choose to react is where the difference begins. It can act as a warning to yourself and others. It can signal a need for change. It can even moderate your ability to protect yourself.
But…when anger gets out of control it creates an often steady flow of destruction in everything in it’s path.
Replacing it with a healthy mechanism will help eliminate further problems. An important first step.
This article is not designed to help you control or eliminate your anger but rather build a quick understanding of the poisons in life that cause pain to you and others. Anger is a big one!
three main ways to deal with anger
Let’s touch upon the three main ways to deal with anger. You can respond aggressively, but that only compounds the problem and often creates many more. Sometimes that aggression is passive, such as obsession, manipulation, secrecy or self-defecation while other times it becomes active and creates a bully, violence, mania, selfishness, blame, vengeance or unpredictable behaviour.
You can suppress it but that diverts the harm to yourself. Finally you can use a method to calm or control it.
Some people are predisposed to anger. It is genetic.
Sometimes, life events created it. You may suffer depression or anxiety. Perhaps you have been abused. A recent or past loss may trigger it. Dependency on chemicals is also a contributing factor.
That doesn’t give you a license to hurt people.
Instead it is an opportunity to master a new virtue – compassion and calm. Methods inlcude:
- improved communication
- laughter and humour
- a change of environment
- relaxation methods
- behavioural restructuring
- problem solving and education – discover the source
how does compassion fit in
If your anger is out of control, you need to get help to make sure it is under check. But if you want to master your control of it, by focusing your energy on compassion it will give you an ability to divert it and feel good about everything in the world.
Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. ~ Eric Hoffer
That change in itself is powerful enough to keep you from doing harm.
You see, compassion is a tenet for a healthy lifestyle. It eliminates hatred and spite. It focuses on a positive structure and gives you something to be thankful. Something to feel good about.
Forgiveness and caring takes courage. It builds strength and integrity. Anger simply depletes it.
Don’t let anger be the boss of you. Take control of it. Learn to replace it with compassion and understanding…but that’s another article in itself.